I go for a walk with the dog

This thought has struck me many times over the last 7 months as I’ve been walking my now 9-month-old puppy in the morning.

Most people in my area, who are on the older side, tend to walk with their dogs as though the dog is just this thing that happens to be walking next to them.

They don’t really talk to them, they don’t really interact with them, at least as I do and I was curious if I’m just an oddball or if I’m just not getting out with my puppy quite enough.

I talk to my dog all the time. I ask him questions. for instance I’ll ask him what he smells when he stops and starts sniffing the air intently. I’ll ask him what he sees when he stares off into the distance. I’ll make suggestions for what he might have just heard. I don’t expect answers. I’m not crazy. Probably.

I’ve been known to get down on the ground next to him and see if I can figure out what has got him riveted to the dirt or lift him up in the air so I can show him something he might find interesting that he can’t normally reach.

I’m out on the adventure *with* my dog.

My dog is reactive and every walk is a training walk. I don’t talk to him conversationally outside commands or words that he knows, to minimize any confusion or ambiguity for what I’m asking of him. If you saw me walking my dog, it might seem like I’m ignoring him, but I’m actually paying extremely close attention to him at all times to gauge his feelings (is he happy, uncomfortable, distracted, etc).

If it works for you and your pup, and you’re not working through any issues, go for it. I wish I could talk to my dog more, but it’s not helpful for him or our training. I just talk to my cat instead.

I’m hoping he’ll get to something close to what we had with the last pup, a rescue who joined us at 3yo, where he literally was the perfect dog. In all the years he was with us we only had to correct him a handful of times. Otherwise he would do what we asked/told when we said and because of that he had a ton of freedom.

This is my preferred dog walking style as well. Of course we give commands when there are cars coming or if we cross the street but generally I view walks as HIS time. I’m not trying to get him to the like military precision order-following or whatever when we’re out just strolling. Figure walks are really meant for his mental/physical stimulation and for spending quality time together.

I talk to my dog all the time, too. We have some of the most inane conversations sometimes, because, well, she’s a dog and can’t do very much to hold up her end of the conversation. I can only imagine what someone clandestinely observing me and my dog hanging out together might think about me

It’s harder for serious working handler-focused dogs to do this. I chatter away to my collie all the time, but the moment a word comes out of my mouth to the border collie, he’s staring at me wanting to do something. I save my talking for when I want him to pay attention, but if I just want him to be a dog, I keep my trap shut.

I’ve started to be mindful of how much nonsense comes out of my mouth, and curb the need to say everything that comes to mind.


I talk to her when she’s getting pets(such a good girl, belly rubbbssss!), to offer a treat, to ask for potty, to go for a walk. To help with laundry, or when I’m going to vacuum. Basically all the things she’ll be involved with, sometimes whether I want her to be or not. But outside of that? No. Or at least I’m trying. Sometimes after I say something and she gets up from napping to see what’s up, I’m like, fuck. I should have just kept my mouth shut.

The last couple days I’ve even started wearing my headphones on our walks. This has helped tremendously with our loose leash and heel training as I’m not using my voice to get her to do what I want. I just stop and wait. She has to then decide for herself if she wants to go forward she needs to not pull. No words, no commands. Just waiting






Newly rescued kitten

Sorry to bring the mood down but this actually made me sad. This dog looks exactly like my parents dog, Lily, who died two weeks ago. She was a great dog, a rescue they had for years and one of the sweetest dogs I’ve ever known.

Her and their cat (who died two weeks before her) were best frenemies since day one. They would “fight” for the dog bed. She would always let the cat take the bed from her, no matter how comfortable she was but the moment he was out she would be back in the bed. I miss them both.

It’s a comfort thing. The kitten is likely stressed being away from her mom in a new surrounding with new animals, so nursing is kitten’s way of establishing some normality for comfort and stress relief. Full grown adult cats who weren’t separated from their mother young and were fully weaned sometimes do it too to self-soothe.

We fostered a mother cat and her two 7wk old kittens. She had them 90% weaned by the time we got them all, but still would let them occasionally nurse for a min or two. Then at 8 weeks she cut them off completely and would smack, hiss and growl at them if they tried to latch on. She loved to cuddle with them, but if they went for her nips, her whole demeanor changed lol. Funny thing is, the 3 other male cats we have (ours, not fosters) were more than happy to let the kittens mock nurse on their bellies. It was pretty adorable. I have a few videos of them nursing on the boys that I can look for in the morning and share 😊

I had a male cat who did this with two kittens found in my backyard. The mother cat didn’t come back for a few days, so we brought the kittens in and he immediately took in the two kittens. They would attempt to suckle him for a few months and he was pretty chill about it.

every doggo do that they’re lying down and their head lifts up and they look up at everyone with their sad sad eyes and they look like they’re wondering “ h h ei wats going oon? Can Iiiiii participate?? Or can I sleeeps”

We had a rescue cat that had had several litters. We fixed her when she came to live with us. A few months later, we found a kitten that was about 7 weeks old. We couldn’t find a mom or the owner, so she came to live with us. This kitten started nursing often. We woke up one morning and discovered a huge mass on the cat. It literally appeared overnight and was probably 8 inches by 5 inches. Took her to the vet immediately and found out it was due to the nursing when she had no milk. I can’t remember what he said it was though. We stopped the nursing and it went away pretty fast.



The intimacy between dogs and cats

Cats and dogs have different vocalizations and body language that are easy to spot when you’re more familiar with them.

Both of my dogs sneeze while playing (to let each other know it’s all play) and do this thing where they lower their torsos with their bums up and tails wagging. Happy vocalizations are usually like an airy groan/ exhale, mad growls are usually a low constant rumble. My older dog also barks when she’s had enough play or isn’t in the mood.

My cat typically lays on his side with his body stretched and he paws at their faces to initiate play. Sometimes he will pounce my little dog. He really only vocalizes a distressed meow when the little one gets a good bite in to let her know it hurt and to ease up. He hisses occasionally when he’s scared (when he hears other cats fighting outside), and meows at me when he wants food or attention. Some cats also have a terrible growl yowel (I think there’s a video on YouTube called cat from hell- sounds kind of like screaming) when they are very distressed. Definitely a sign to back off

When animals are moving fluidly and kind of dancing around each other it’s usually a playful sign, but if an animal‘s body is frozen, they’re alert, and have a lowered tail and head they aren’t in the mood to play (or sometimes even approached) and you should give them some space. Some dogs show their teeth aggressively, some cats flick their tail when it’s resting on the ground.


Dog and cat fights are usually pretty loud, I’ve never seen them fight each other (just dog vs dog and cat vs cat). Never try to break up an animal fight yourself, it can result in injury. I’ve stopped a few cat fights with a hose, dog fights depending on the size of the dogs a broom between the two might do. My dad’s friend had two large dogs fighting and he tried grabbing one and ended up getting bitten and pulled, resulted in a large gash in his arm.

There are plenty of articles to read, but this is just some of what I’ve picked up having been around animals my whole life. Hope this helps!

Playing can include some growling/hissing – especially when one is about done with playing – but fighting would definitely be louder. At least for the cat… I don’t know if you’ve ever heard a cat fight, but when they progress from sustained eye contact to legit attempts to hurt one another it’s accompanied by an ungodly noise that you’re not going to mistake for playing. Look up a video of cats fighting on youtube – the sounds are very distinct.

Another big hint is that they’re both going in, neither is trying to run away. The cat backs off a couple times, but only a few feet, and then comes back towards the dog. And yes, that both aren’t trying very hard. The dog obviously, because if it were trying the cat would be dead. But the cat as well – it isn’t doing the ‘bunny kicks’ that cats will do when grappling, and its claws are certainly capable of drawing blood on the dog’s face if it were using them for real.

Thats why i said 3 months at the minimum, though 6 months to a year is better they are nearly adult sized, and close to their final personality, while being easier to introduce. Plus 5+ months is when bad people usually give up their kitten to shelters, because they are starting to not be cute to them anymore or their kids isn’t interested in their new “toys” anymore, especially after Christmas, so adopting them is a good.

They need to match the energy this guy as, no matter how well they are introduced, if they aren’t a good match, you will at best get 2 cats that tolerate eachother, especially if they get a shy to other cats cat or a more introverted cat, but add any adult cats with a too strong of a personality, and it may end in a blood bath or with a cat getting heavily bullied, 6 months to year if their personality match would be the ideal

Dog has a huge size and reach advantage and an effective jab. But cat has some real martial arts training and good ground game. Dodged a lot of hits and got out of grapples in expected liquid fashion.

He just does more crazy and annoying shit around the house now that he doesn’t have a friend to get his energy out on. We play with him a couple of times a day but they used to go at it like this for literal hours every day. He just seems like he has way more random outbursts of energy.


My dog and cat are very close

My dog was a puppy 10wks 2 days old when we adopted her and my cat was about 2.5 yes old at the time.

They grew up together and all my dog wants to do is play and zoomies with that cat, but that cat has never and will never want anything to do with my dog. She has her territory and doesn’t often like sharing it with the dog but generally tolerates the dog on her space.

My dog just wants to play (part of it is her prey drive, but not in a I want to kill you way) and the cat will just straight up smack her. Usually the dog is smart enough to walk away when that cat growls. The cat ALWAYS wins even tho it’s 10 lbs and my dog is 35. My dog always yelps and ends up tail between the legs offended then goes back for more. She’s special.

However, you get the whipped cream out in a bowl and one will be on each side of you almost nose to nose trying to eat it at the same time.

Like they could be best friends, but the cat just ‘nopes’ her.

Yeah I was gonna say the “language” barrier is the main problem. What dogs consider play is pretty scary to most cats, but this cat trusts the dog which means they probably grew up together.

Actually the cat didn’t meet the dog until he was maybe 5 or 6 months old but they’re both sweeties so they got along pretty quickly.

Do you think cats are best buds with birds because some cats are totally fine with birds at home?
Because stray cats murder the shit out of birds in nature.
Same with stray dogs going after stray cats.

The biggest problem between cats and dogs is body language, dogs often seem aggressive to cats, when they are being playful. And dogs mistake cats for being aggressive, when they are playful. It’s great when they figure it out, as above, but often it fails.

We really want a dog but our new landlords said they’ve had problems with dogs in the past so they would rather us not get one. We don’t want another cat cause we feel like they’d team up and do too much diabolical annoying shit together lol. We haven’t talked to them about the dog issue since we were applying for the house so we might bring it up again soon to see how they feel.

Maybe if you get a dog that’s in foster care, you can show them, look, this dog does well in a house, he’s in a house right now, you can talk to his foster parents, get on a FaceTime, see that their house isn’t damaged. I’m in animal rescue and I’ve found that people have had luck if they can show their landlord a

In this case you can tell because neither animal is trapped here, if they wanted to leave they would. Especially for cats, they won’t play if they don’t want to – they have claws and will use them. These two also are clearly not using all of their strength – especially the dog – so it’s likely they play like this often and know how not to hurt each other.

In more general terms, the tails are a good indicator: dogs will wag their tail when they’re happy or excited; cats will have their tails up or flick them gently if they’re playing (harsh flicks usually mean they’re annoyed but cats’ tails aren’t as consistent as dogs)

Dogs will fake sneeze or lick their noses to show they’re playing. Cats will keep their claws sheathed and swipe with just the soft pad of their paws to show they’re playing.

When they don’t want to play anymore, cats will hiss and show their claws. Dogs will growl and show their teeth.




Cute animals

I’ve got a cat who’s absolutely obsessed with one of my rabbits. He snuggles with her, washes her, (attempts to) play with her, gets very jealous when she snuggles with anyone else, and just generally spends a lot of time just sitting around staring at her like a creep. The feeling is…semi-mutual lol

I knew a guy that had a pet rabbit and a goldendoodle and he said they would cuddle up together at night to sleep.

I love when animals develop these weird relationships. My coworker at my first job would legit take his cat and rabbit on a walk with leashes around his neighborhood every day


Based usually means that something is cool, and x-pilled means it’s related to the thing in a cool way, so dog-pilled would mean that it’s like the cat and rabbit are dogs.

I think they were talking about the rabbits vision? The previous poster was talking about their rabbits vision and rabbits have a pretty short life span overall.

Our pekingese was blind and dead for the last 3 years of her life but it never slowed her down. She got by on her sense of smell and she’d come towards me when I bounced my foot on the floor. Vibration in the old wood floor was the new “here puppy” till she passed at 15. I miss her still, she was a great lil pup.

Yep she was pretty awesome. We called her the snot monkey even though her real name was Zoe, snot monkey fit better. When she would sneeze it just snot gunned anyone nearby. She was hyper half the time and barely awake the other half but man she was a fun lil pup.

Being that my puppy has adopted her we are keeping her and naming her Lola…

There’s no way she is a wild animal because she willingly came to my nephew to be picked up and was shivering cuz its so cold out, she was abandoned at the local cemetery….

I think her hip is dislocated because her leg looks twisted and she can’t hop very well but we have an appointment at the local exotic pet vet for her tomorrow…

Vets go through the same amount of training as human doctors, but imagine learning all that stuff not just for one species, but at least two (dogs and cats), and then all the others, who are all wildly different as far as diseases, medications, anatomy, etc, all go.

Then you get into specialties like veterinary oncology, vet cardiology, vet ophthalmology…. all of them requiring several years of training beyond all the regular vet training.

It sucks that vet prices are going up so high, but they have to pay off lots of student loans for several years of education, and their tuition has been going up just like everyone else’s.

Apparently according to veterinarians they are because I called several of them and they told me I needed to contact a vet that specialized in exotic pets…

I’m guessing anything outside of a dog and cat is considered an exotic pet.

I feel like I haven’t seen one in 20 years. But even back then, I wouldn’t have been surprised if it drew negative attention on a college campus.

I remember them being around when I was like in middle school in the 90s and plenty of kids thought they were gross or cruel. It took a somewhat embarrassingly long time for some of us to realize that a rabbit’s foot was often an actual rabbit’s foot, ha.

I remember the fake ones were pretty popular, that were basically just tufts of fur and didn’t try to look like a foot.

I grew up in a university town in a really rural area so there was this funny dichotomy between kids like me who were grossed out by any identifiable animal parts, and kids who drove around with fresh deer carcasses strapped to their civics.

It was definitely real, the one my cousin had. I could feel its delicate little bones, through its soft fur. I think they had a neon pink one too at some point, but I used to hide them at the bottom of their toy piles, when I came over. Or at the back of their closet.

Well it’s kinda a dark joke. But at the same time in a way it’s a bit positive. The rabbit who would have died without help had to remove a leg cause it wouldn’t heal properly, but out of the affection she has you have something to remember them always. I mean people keep ashes and Lola ain’t even dead right? In a way it’s a bit I don’t know… sweet? Hard to describe the term I’m looking for.

I remember finding a black bunny in our yard once a few years ago and I loved coming out every morning to feed him/her, then one day they stopped showing up. Talked to our neighbor a few houses away randomly one day about it and he told me that it was his bunny that he had gotten for his kid and when they eventually got tired of it (got too big for the kids liking even though it was still a pretty tiny bunny) they just let them go free outside. They did this several more times. How people can just set a pet “free” is beyond me, how can you not feel regret/guilt every day?




Wonderful friendship

Slowly but surely he started winning them over with unconditional love and attention. Now everyone loves him, including my other dog. Goldens are the best breed.

Depends on the breeder. Some breed for looks, others for personality. This pup seems particularly calm in general. Many Golden’s I know are sweet but hyper and need training for good manners. I’ve met the rare Golden that was aggressive, just wired that way. So, in general, yes they are sweet, but there are the occasional outliers, so get to know breeders and the parents before diving in.

My cat did that to my golden mix. Just said “hey I’m your friend now we cuddle together and I share your food.” Dog was very much not on board for a long time but by the time the cat died they were best buddies and shared everything.

This cat is than fanciest cat ever . He has to get his bed heated in the dryer before naps. He’s Milo, recently he got a kitten sister to teach her everything.

My girlfriend and I are getting ready to move in together. I’ve got a dog and she has 2 cats. We’ve been basically living together at her place for the past couple months and the cats are finally getting “ok” with my pup but hoping that moving into a new space will out everybody on the same playing field and make another step towards actual tolerance lol

This definitely something that helped us in the beginning. A friend had the same situation and recommended a cat tree, so we got a giant 6ft one so they could get up high and away from her. My pup’s a bit on the older side so she’s not too big on jumping around, so it works out pretty well! And even better, another friend had a giant cat tree his cats weren’t using, so now we’ve got a tree for both cats!

We tried this, our cat decided it was the perfect platform from which to launch attacks on our poor pup. She’d wait for him to walk by and then jump off it right onto his back like a lioness trying to bring down a buffalo. We ended up selling it on eBay after a few weeks.

All cats are assholes. Some just find themselves dignified enough to show some class. Once they’re properly established in a high place befitting of their status, of course.

One of my cats started an ongoing war with a stray in our area when she accidentally fell out of a tree right on to him. They’ve hated each other ever since even though another one of my cats adopted him and he lives with us now lol.

1 of 3 do this. I have affectionately been calling her “poop cat”. She is pretty skiddish in general, so I am not sure if she feels comfortable doing this while we are pooping because we’re immobile and she feels safe or what.

The other time she does it is right as my wife lays down for sleep at night. She’s up an on her purring a storm and making biscuits before falling asleep on her.

I rescued one of my boys from a very dangerous farm, have spent thousands on his vet bills and ensure that he lives a life of comfort with good food, clean water and safety. Occasionally he let’s me hang out with him.

When we are looking my cat always squeals when my dog comes near like he’s hurting her but when we aren’t paying attention she constantly rubs against him and sleeps next to him…until we look at them again.

Cats are a lot smarter than a lot of people give them credit for. It seems like in the domestication of dogs we manipulated them, but in the domestication of cats- it seems like they’ve become masters at manipulating us

The relationships between domesticated dogs and cats is fascinating to me.

I fostered an ex racing greyhound years ago. Part of fostering is getting them used to everyday household noises, people and pets etc. He destroyed not 1 but 3 wire crates trying to get to my cat in the early days of him coming to my home. I was positive we would never be able to place him in a home with other pets.

I worked with him for 3 months and eventually he was adopted by a family with 3 cats! They would send update photos of him lounging with the cats.

Out fat little miss Jessica finally decided to accept our labradoodle (ie: not scratch his face) when she discovered he was warm. She now begrudgingly shares the bed with him. But he’s not allowed to look at her.


Now act as an informal cat nurse, comforting and assisting sick animals in their recovery

I would have siblings where one would sleep in the armpit, the other between my legs. Waking up in the morning, typically the leg one would have jammed his entire body between my head and the pillow, making HIM the pillow!

This pair, the mother disappeared at 4 weeks old. Had to bottle-feed the entire litter several times a day until they were self-sufficient. Eventually one of them became close enough that he would be on the hood of my car, pawing at the windshield, before I even had it in park. Open the door and he’d hop up on the roof then my left shoulder so we could go inside together.

The missing mother, people used to ask what breed of dog she was because of how she acted. She would walk 3 blocks with me to the store on a perfect heel. She would even stop on the corners and wait for me to cross. At the store she would wait patiently outside for a treat, then I’d tell her she could go; she would then bound through backyards and be waiting for me on the front step when I finally got home.

My cat is not very affectionate but I felt like absolute hell after I had surgery near the start of the year, this was the time where she decided to be more affectionate than usual… insisting on standing on my stomach (where I had 3 incisions and stitches from the surgery), kneading right on the stitches and meowing for strokes

Before i was on the meds i have now (yay no more migraines), my cat would always get very affectionate and attention seeking about 30 mins before my migraine started.

How she knew ill never know but im glad she did, her fave spot was to sit on my chest and try lick my nose and or chin while purring

I kept a cat doodle with jagged whiskers giving me a thumbs up in my wallet in high school, and let me tell you, Thumbpy Whiskiers was a great motivator. It’s dumb but the laugh from how ridiculous it is helped a ton. Then you realize it wasn’t the picture but yourself keeping you going, and it means a whole lot more.

I miss my black kitty to. Her name was Honey she was 10yo. She died of lymphoma last May. She would always lay on my chest before bed. As soon as she started to purr I would sleep like a baby. It’s been so hard to get to sleep without her. Man I miss my sweet baby

You should definitely take the time that you need but I do hope that you can learn to love again. You have lots of love to give another kitty. I have two other kitties know that I would do anything for and I know full well it’s going to break my heart all over again when we lose them one day.

Thats a lovely thought! I was such a mess after I lost her. She came to see me in a dream and I knew that she was gone in my dream but she came up and curled up in my lap and purred while I pet her and talked to her. And now im crying

I have a big black fluff ball called Salem (of course), and he is absolutely amazing at keeping me company when I’m down or sick. After having medical problems for the last year and a half that sometimes leaves me in intense pain for days at a time, Salem has helped me get through almost as much as my partner. The nights when I’m hunched over, throwing up and struggling to not wake up everybody else in the house, he will cuddle into my legs, or follow me around and just generally make sure I know he is there. Not to mention he is absolute miracle, about a month ago he had a really bad kidney blockage and I was told he wasn’t going to make it through the night, but 4 weeks and a MOUNTAIN of bills later, here we are. I’ve always loved animals, but until I found Salem I never knew I could love a little fluffy friend this much. Sorry about the novel, but his nature and how much he helps me through life surprises me every day.

My good buddy Blaire is so dark that I accidentally smack him or step on his tail a few times a week, but he’s forgiving. A true void into the n=the nether-realm. While I’m falling asleep he’ll nuzzle between my calves and fall asleep there. It is beyond comforting



I’ve been trying to train my dog for the last 2years

I’ve tried changing directions when she goes to the end of the leash, i’d try staying in one spot and walking the other way when the tension broke, i’ve tried literally every single thing i can think of.

As of this day she’s 4 years old and the best she does is come back to me when i stop walking (because there’s tension) then as soon as i start walking again she hurries off to the end of the leash.

I’m over it. i want to take my dog to the beach and to the forest and watch her run in the water and look for things in the bushes without being hyper and running off, but i can’t even walk her 4 blocks to the park because she pulls in the direction of anywhere she wants to go or anything that gets her attention.

I don’t know what to do my dog could have such a better and more active life than what she has right now but her impulsiveness and energy/stubborness and unwillingness to listen makes it so i can’t take her anywhere. even though i get mad at her it hurts i can’t do the things i want to do with my dog

Some dogs be stubborn! Have you tried a trainer? Maybe having someone train the dog what you want them to do might work? Afterward you can work with the trainer and dog to make sure things stick and doggo listens to you.

The thing that worked for us (to get her attention on walks) was starting in the backyard. It’s outside, but also pretty boring. Once I was able to reliably get her attention there, we moved to the front yard. A bit more distraction, but still pretty boring.

Once that was reliable, we were ready to work on getting her attention on walks, and it was way easier.

I would also up the value of the treats you’re using if you haven’t already.

But also, overall I agree with the suggestion to work with a trainer.

If you haven’t tried a gentle leader (head halter), would strongly recommend it. Your dog will probably try to fight it at first ( paw at it, rub it off, roll around), butjust keep it positive and rewarding and it will help a lot. You tube a video on how to train your dog with it., no hard pull corrections. Worked wonders for our pup.

Generally, teaching your dog what leash pressure means and teaching your dog emotional control are prereqs for having a dog that listens well on leash.

I would suggest looking into exercises called “It’s Yer Choice” looking into the basics of clicker training, and teaching leash pressure through the silky leash method.

I just had to go to a trainer for this with our dog. First thing was to use a collar not a harness. Then the idea is to keep you in the dogs peripheral vision. So changing direction randomly, not just backward and forward. Just as they start to pull forward you change direction

I saw another comment where you say you’ve tried on your own so are reluctant to get one, but honestly it’s worth it so you can have happy and enjoyable walks

Hi there, for you I would recommend a group training class.

A trainer who is making rounds will see you and your equipment and give you suggestions based on what is happening. I suspect that the equipment you are using now is not what you need to use, but I can’t give you advice because I can’t see it.

I think that you will feel very enabled at the end of this class, you will feel more connected with your dog and know more about them and how to train them.

I think that it will be very helpful for you to watch your dog physically shift into work mode as all of the dogs in the group get ready to start to do work. It’s an amazing experience.

I recommend that you start by looking up your local Dog Kennel Club and seeing when their group classes are. Many of these courses also have a focus on completing the good canine citizen certificate, and I think that getting that certificate would be amazing accomplishment for you. Like a cherry on top.


Thinking about returning my (new) dog because of seperation anxiety

So around 10 days ago me and my gf adopted a female Podenco from an organisation. The first couple of days everything was fine, but after around day 4-5 she developed seperation anxiety – I cant even leave the room for 5 mins with my gf without her barking like absolutely insane. I asked the organisation/animal welfare before if its possible to leave her alone for 30-60 mins (like for a quick shopping tour) and they told us yes. But now it turns out it is almost impossible to leave her alone for 5 mins. I contacted them and they told me to just let her bark, she just wants some attention. But we are living in a rental appartment. Letting her bark for hours is not an option. We also have an issue with getting her energy out because

A: She is afraid of dogs – so a dog park or heavy visited park is not an option really.

B: She was sick for a couple of days and on anti biotics and the vet told us to let her rest a lot.

The lack of sleep is driving me insane and I always thought I would not be the one sending an already adopted dog back. But I am at a point where I cant anymore. Also besides her being 4 years old, she almost behaves like a puppy she ocassionally pees on the carpet.

Yes I got plenty of home office but not enough to work on so many issues. I wish they would have told us about this.

Now I am confliced because I am feeling connected to her, but also feel resentment, shame and embarrassment. The lack of sleep is probably not helping… But I literally develope anxiety when I think about home and the dog.

If it’s causing you not to sleep and you don’t think it’s something you can do. Then returning the dog may be best. But please do keep in mind that all dogs will have a big adjustment period that will take time and effort to combat.

How a dog acts in one environment can be very different for another, so it might not be that the rescue lied but actually didn’t know. Like you’ve said she’s peeing in the house, that can be because she doesn’t know where to actually go rather than not being house trained. Don’t just let her bark, it doesn’t help with the anxiety. My main bits of advice are:

-go back to basics with the toilet training and taking her out regularly then praising when she’s going in the right place. Don’t tell her off for doing it wrong, just clean it up with some enzyme spray

-Have a look into the flitting game, this can help dogs learn they can be on their own

This is probably an unpopular opinion but I think you should bring the dog back. Having a young energetic dog in an apartment takes a lot of effort under the best conditions. Add in the separation anxiety and fear of other dogs and you’re really going to be in for a rough time. Yes you can work on these problems but it takes a lot of time and effort, and even with that effort you may find you can manage the issues but never fully get past them. It sounds like this is your first dog, right? I really think this is not a good fit.

Yes all dogs need training and will have an adjustment period but you should be starting with a dog who will fit your lifestyle. If that means a house-trained, lower energy, dog-friendly, more independent dog you can find that, you might just have to look for a while to find the right match.

You can spend 3 months waiting for her to “settle” but it’s going to be harder on you, your partner, and the dog if you have to return her once you’ve all bonded. And if you don’t return her and she doesn’t naturally settle, you may be facing a very long road of expensive behavioral experts, lifestyle limitations, and ongoing “work” with minimal reward.

A lot of practical advice here for training which is great! I just wanted to say that I felt the same for the first few weeks with our rescue pup – I didn’t think we could do it, I was having panic attacks and crying because of the lack of sleep and I didn’t even feel a connection with the little guy. I’m so glad I stuck it out though – it’s such a big adjustment period for you and them. You’ve only had her 10 days so be patient with the separation anxiety – you’re the only comfort she has in this scary new world right now. Building her confidence is the biggest thing right now, there are a lot of resources online to help with this. If you can help her become a confident dog – a lot of the bad behaviours naturally slip away

You may end up having to return her if it’s really not working out but I would advise you to stick with it for at least a couple of months so you know you’ve given it the best go you could.



It’s time to put an end to her suffering.

When I unexpectedly had to put my 13-year-old Aussie down last spring, the vet at the emergency clinic was so empathetic and reassuring after he had passed. She just sat with us for a little bit even though it was very busy, and I appreciated that. It helped with the guilt.

Saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I ever did, but when they’re suffering and won’t have any quality of life, it’s the only choice you can make if you truly love your pet and want the best for them.

But fuck if I don’t miss that old pup every day.

You’re welcome! It took me a long time to realize what a gift euthanasia truly is; to free them of their suffering by simply going to sleep. I used to think I could never be a vet because of euthanasia but once I had that enlightenment of realizing the gift that is, I completely changed career paths to vet. Not one yet, but I’m working on it. Sending hugs to you and Ruby today. 🧡🫂

Don’t think of it as “having to do it to an animal”. Think of doing it FOR her. I once read somewhere that euthanasia can be one of the kindest thing you can do for your pet, when it’s the pets time to go. Her quality of life doesn’t sound great and quality of life so important. I know it’s hard and I’m so so sorry. ❤️ I’m sending you virtual hugs.

I appreciate that message. It sounds like it but at the same time she’s still got a lot of play in her and she still acts like a puppy here and there so I guess it doesn’t really feel like I’m having it done for an old dog but a puppy. Thanks a lot for your message I appreciate it.

No matter what she’ll always be your puppy even if she lived to 100. I guess the biggest question is, is she suffering? I’ve had to put a pet down but I look at it as I to away her pain and gave it to myself. She didn’t understand why she hurt and felt bad, and I couldn’t let her keep going in pain. No matter what you are and amazing owner, cause that’s who you are. ❤

This is my biggest regret about my childhood dog, Phoebe. I didn’t know in my late teens that you could be with them when they were euthanized, I thought the vets always did it privately (this was in the nineties, pre information being readily available).



Now, whenever possible, I have a vet come to the house so that my fur baby can be in their favourite spot, with people that love them, for the end. On a few occasions that’s been impossible (the traveling vet books weeks ahead, but if a pet is suffering I won’t make them wait), but I’m always there at the end.

I’m so sorry, but euthanasia is a gift you can give a suffering animal. The only thing the dog will know is going to sleep surrounded by the people he loves. I’ve had to do it for 2 of my pets, and it’s very calm and peaceful. It’s the right thing to do.

Sadly, it sounds like it’s well past time. I remember the night before we put down my dog, I spent hours looking up how to know if it’s the right time. you’re not alone in that worry. I learned that it’s better for both you and your pup to do it “too early” than it would be to do it too late. sending you good vibes ❤️

I put my dear boy down earlier this year when his coughing became too much for his body. I think I could have held onto him longer, but he coughed so hard he could no longer catch his breath easily (or nearly at all). (It was congestive heart failure and life expectancy once diagnosed is 3 to 6 months. He had the best 8 months I could reasonably give him.)

It hurt me to let him go, but I knew that it just passed the point where he could live comfortably. The moment his cough became bad it was just a matter taking him fast enough so he wouldn’t know pain.