I don’t feel like I have anywhere to turn to, but anyways. My wife after a bit more than a year of marriage has decided that our life with a house in the countryside (20 minutes from two cities) with a dog and two cars is not for her. So now she’s looking for a flat and intends to be gone before Christmas. I’m devastated, don’t know how to go on with life in general.
but I get to keep the dog. It doesn’t fit into her newly discovered career focus and lifestyle choice. Although she always loved it madly, she knows there’s no space for him in her life. I love him so much and the friendship, the walks and the cuddles are what keep me going at the moment.
He will be devastated by her being gone. What do you guys do to help your dogs with grief?
Ensure you spend ample quality time with your fur friend! You can both help each other cope and use this time to bond and value each other more deeply. Keep your schedule with them consistent and regular so they don’t fear more instability after the change of who is living with you. Schedule regular days for you to do things together – nice walks, play time, runs etc. It will be good for both of you ❤️ This, too, shall pass. Stay strong and focus inward and you and your pup will find your next happy adventure together. ☺️
Consistency is good. And try to make sure that you play/ walk/ frequently. In other words, not just every Saturday. I don’t know if he’s been living with you lately but a dog needs a walk at least daily, preferable twice daily. Woofer will use regular exercise and fresh air to help deal with life’s changes. A tired dog is a happy dog.
So sorry to hear about what is surely a very hard time for you as the human. As for the dog, one of the greatest aspects of dog minds is that they live in the moment and keep their heads where their paws are. So, while the dog will perhaps miss her to a degree, he will adjust and move on pretty easily. Things you can do to help him through it (which frankly will probably be a comfort to you too, hopefully!) are to maintain as much normalcy as possible like keeping all your routines intact, maintain your connection to the dog by doing the dogs favorite things with him whether that is hikes in new places or a rousing game of fetch or tug, lots of snuggles and praise especially during down time, and maybe embark on a new activity together! You can teach some new tricks or make an obstacle course, etc, just anything collaborative and fun for both of you.
Dogs are very adaptable and they don’t ruminate the way humans do. So your dog should be just fine and I do hope he also is able to be as much a comfort to you as you are to him. Best of luck in all things, and don’t forget to be kind and patient with yourself during this time of transition
My ex wife took the dog who we had the longest and was the most attached too. She then gave away our other two dogs without telling me. By the time I found out coon hound he had already been adopted out. I don’t know where she sent the other dog.
I kept my dog when my ex husband left me, I would have literally fought him for her if I needed to. I made sure she was out of the house with me when he came to collect his stuff.
She kept me going, that dog sat and snuggled me while I cried, kept a safe distance when I was raging drunk. I fully believe I wouldn’t have survived it without her.
Let the pupper love you, it will help so much with your healing.
A few years ago I broke up with my live-in girlfriend of 4 years. I was being treated poorly due to her mental illness and we just weren’t in love. But, something that honestly made me feel guilty about leaving was thinking about my dog. I had my dog for a few years before my gf moved in, but my dog nonetheless of course grew attached to her. I thought it would be so cruel to my dog and thought my dog would be devastated. Ultimately I had to end the relationship, but I felt worse for my dog than I did for myself.
Except…in reality my dog literally didn’t care lol. I mean, she still has me and has other people in her life who she loves and sees all the time. My dog never did any kind of mopey “where’d that other person go??!” routine. I think they are a lot more go with the flow than we think. And my dog is pretty clingy with a small “circle of trust”! I even have a new girlfriend now who my dog adores even more lol. Maybe she remembers my ex…but it clearly doesn’t bother her and I doubt she thinks about it.
So…I think the grief is unfortunately all yours. I hope you take care of yourself! But don’t worry about your dog 🙂
